


Taiyou in the Last Hope

by Maaitaiyou



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Aimiya-Friendship, Depression, Juntoshi - Freeform, M/M, Sakumiya, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25486009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maaitaiyou/pseuds/Maaitaiyou
Summary: Tired of his useless life, Yasu left his home to die so he wont be a trouble to best friend,but while he was crossing the road someone pulled him back and asked him to delay his planto commit suicide for three months.A Sakumiya crossover drama,  between Hasebe Yasuyuki (Kuruma Isu de Boku wa Sora wo Tobu)and Suzuki Taiyou (Yoiko no Mikata) with side crossing character of Koenji Tatsuya (Boku to Shippo to Kagurazaka)and Koyurugi Sota (Shitsuren Chocolatier)
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Ninomiya Kazunari, Matsumoto Jun & Ohno Satoshi, Ninomiya Kazunari/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. Am I a useless life that should be thrown?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sky_fish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_fish/gifts).



> This is my first Sakumiya fic, written for my dearest Sky birthday based on one of the  
> prompt she submitted for the exchange. Hope she and everyone who read this fic will  
> enjoy it.

**_"Am I a mistake that shouldn't be born,_ **

**_Didn't I deserve happiness of my own_ **

**_Am I a useless life that should be thrown?_ **

**_Instead of being a nuisance waiting to be disowned_ **

**_Why can't I be happy when I just want to laugh_ **

**_Why the tears flowing although I didn't want to cry_ **

**_Why there was no one to hug me when it's tough_ **

**_Why there was no one to look at me when I just need a smile"_ **

*****

Yasu took a last look at the facilities where he had learnt a lot from once, he was paralysed when the wheelchair became his life. He learnt to be independent and be more responsible for his life and his mother. He thought there was still hope for him, but it was just his wistful thought. He doesn't deserve to be happy and he should die instead of becoming a burden to others. He wheeled himself to the traffic lights, waiting for the man to turn from green to red. His hand was sweaty, but he had to do it. With his eyes close, he wheeled himself to the road once the red man lighted up but when he almost reached the middle, something or more likely someone stopped him and pulled him back. 

"No! Don't do it”

"Who are you and just let me die"

Yasu shouted back at the young guy who was about his age. 

"Even if you want to die, don't you think you should at least do something good to earn yourself a ticket to heaven?" 

"Who are you to care if I went to hell or heaven?"

"No one but maybe I could help you to earn that ticket"

"Shut up and just leave me alone" 

Yasu tried to wheel back but the guy was faster than him. 

"Okay, I will let you die if you want but can you delay it a bit?"

"Huh"

"Well, just for three months, yes just delayed it for three more months than you can do whatever you want" 

The man wheeled him back forcibly to the facilities,

"Why do you bring me back here"

"I want you to meet your ticket to heaven" 

Yasu looks at the guy, he spoke of the death nonchalantly but Yasu knows he had no right to judge others when he himself thought of life lightly too. A man ran towards them and hugged Yasu as soon as he saw them. Yasu rolled his eyes, why must he find him here. Well, it's a proof of their closeness since the tall guy managed to find him without Yasu telling him where he'd go. 

Tatsuya hugged him tightly. He almost went crazy when he read the notes Yasu left him. They are best friends; he always loves that guy like his own brother, and he doesn't want to lose him. He knew life had been cruel to Yasu but he wants Yasu to know there was someone there who still care about him. He was so glad to see Yasu that he didn't realise the man behind him. 

"Yasu! I'm glad you are safe, please don't scare me like that again, you know how much I love you" 

The man behind the wheelchair eyes widened when he heard the guy. 

"Let me go and please say things properly, you will make people misunderstood us" Yasu pushed him away and look at the young man behind his wheelchair. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, I am Koenji Tatsuya, I'm a veterinarian at Sakanoue Animals Clinic and the legal guardian of Hasebe Yasuyuki. You can call me Tatsuya." 

"So, both of you are together?" 

Both Tatsuya and Yasu looked at the guy surprised. 

"See I told you, your love declaration always made others misunderstood us" 

Yasu pouted and Tatsuya laughed. 

"Sorry! But we are not like that. I love him like my own brother since I've been taking care of him and we have known each other since we are young, any way you are?"

Tatsuya explained and at the same time asking for the other guy's name. 

"Oh! Sorry for the late introduction, I am Suzuki Taiyo but you can just call me Taiyo. I am a kindergarten teacher at Himawari Nursery School and you can say I am his saviour now" 

Taiyo replied, shaking the tall and beautiful veterinarian hand. 

"What saviour, I didn't ask you to save me, it was you who was being nosy and asked me to delay my death" 

"Well okay, I'm not your saviour but a nosy guy... Happy?" 

Yasu pouted and both Tatsuya and Taiyo laughed.

"Anyway, Ko sensei, this nosy guy managed to make Yasu-chan delay his death for three months so you can relax for the time being" 

Taiyo prefers to be formal to someone he just met although Tatsuya told him not to. Yasu rolled his eyes at the nosy guy whom he just met.

"Wait! I haven't agreed to anything yet and it's Hasebe-kun for you" 

"Okay Yasu-chan, but at least you are here now so that's mean you agreed to delay your death. Come I will introduce you to your ticket to heaven" 

Taiyo emphasizing "Yasu-chan" showing he was not going to change how he will address the guy in the wheelchair which made Yasu more irritated. The only conclusion in his mind was not to cooperate with Taiyo request. The three of them went to the other building of the hospital where the paediatric wards located. They went to six floors and to the second room on the left. There was a boy on the bed who was trying to hold the pain from the needle while a nurse took his blood but the boy smiled happily once he saw Taiyo. The boy jumped to his arms as soon as the nurse finishes her work. 

"Taiyo sensei, you came. I miss you so much" 

"Ah! Daigo-kun, yes I miss you too but you are getting heavier, the doctor must be cheating when they said you didn't eat much" 

The young boy pouted but then turn to the other two strangers. Taiyo then introduced the two men to the boy. 

"Daigo-kun, this is Ko sensei, he is a veterinarian in Kagurazaka and this is Yasu oniichan" 

Daigo bowed politely to them and he was excited when a sudden realisation came to his mind. 

"Ah, you are the oniichan that always play the guitar in the park near our school. I love to hear you playing the guitar but you didn't come for so long, I've been waiting for you" 

Yasu was surprised when the kid knows him but now that he thought back, he remembered there was a kindergarten near the park he usually went to the nearby to practice on his guitar alone after the morning rush. The park was always quiet and made him feel calm although sometimes he saw the students were playing nearby, he had never interacted with them so he never expected anyone to notice and will remember him. They were interrupted by a nurse calling Daigo to go for a scan. The boy went after the adults promised to wait for him. From the ward, Tatsuya can guess the young boy sickness. 

"So, the boy had cancer?" He asked

"Daigo-kun had cancer but he can still be saved if he can get a bone marrow transplant" Taiyo replied.

"His parents?" Yasu asked. 

"Daigo is an orphan. His parents passed away from an accident along with his younger sister two years ago. They were on their way to fetch him from the kindergarten. His aunt took care of him but after he was diagnosed with cancer, she gave up the guardianship. He was adopted by the principal son who took care of him because he had no other relatives" 

"Since there was someone who took care of him, I didn't see why I need to delay my death for those three months" 

"Yasu!" Tatsuya scolded him for his snarky remarks. 

"There is and you are the most important reason" 

Taiyo sighed and continued when he got the attention of the two men. 

"Daigo is an active boy and well-loved by his friends but after he fell sick, he can't attend a school like the others which made him frustrated and lonely. One day the principal son brought him to the kindergarten to meet with his friends and spent sometimes with them. It was one of the days when we brought the students to play in the park. The kids always saw you playing your guitar and they love it. His friends had been telling him about the oniichan who played the guitar so he was excited. 

Like other days, you were there when they were playing. They may be far from you but the kids were listening and humming to your guitar while playing. Whenever he was not in the hospital, the principal son will bring him to school and he always looks forward to hearing you play your guitar. Looking at you play happily although you were in a wheelchair gave him the courage to face his sickness but one day you just stop coming to the park. The kids especially Daigo miss you. I've been looking for you for the past few weeks till today when I saw you at the traffic light"

"But how you know it was me?"

"Your hair, not everyone had that colour"

"But why three months?"

"He will have his operations in three months if we managed to get a donor. But it was an important period for him to have his emotions stabilize. You are his hero, if you could make him happy even for just these three months, I will do everything for you." 

"What if he didn't get a donor in three months?" 

"He won't be survived"

"I understand you care about your students but for you to go this far?" 

It was Tatsuya who asked. He wondered if Taiyo doing it to get on the principal good side. Taiyo smiled at him. Those who didn't know him well always mistaken him so he knew what was on Tatsuya mind. 

"Because I see myself in him. I am an orphan too and it was my kindergarten teacher who always there for me. Because of him, I've become a teacher and I hope I could bring a smile to my students just like him" 

Yasu never imagined himself to be someone who gave courage to someone else. Daigo reminded him of Daisuke the small boy whom he met after his first accident. The boy also had cancer and had less than three months to live but he gave him the courage to start the therapy. Maybe he can give that same courage to Daigo. Maybe what Taiyo said is true, he should at least earn a ticket to heaven. Yasu asked Tatsuya to take his guitar at home and brought it to the hospital.

Tatsuya always worried whenever Yasu went out alone but maybe he was wrong after all. He won't be playing in the park if he didn’t' allowed Yasu to go out and now, maybe Yasu will find another reason to keep on living. It didn't take long for Tatsuya to reach the hospital back because their house was nearby. Tatsuya had moved to an apartment 10 minutes away from the hospital after Yasu moved in with him, to make it easier for Yasu to travel to the hospital for his rehabilitation at the other building of the hospital.

Daigo came back with a small size and cute doctor. They were chatting happily and Daigo ran to Yasu and pulled the doctor along. 

"Ohno sensei, this is Yasu Oniichan that I've told you. He can play the guitar very well" 

"Oh! Hi Yasu-san. I've heard a lot about you and it seems Taiyo-kun finally found you." 

Taiyo smiled at him proudly. Daigo asked him to play a song and everyone listen to him. One by one kid from the other wards came to listen to him playing and Ohno sensei then suggested him to play at the kid's rest area so all the kids can listen to him. There was a big piano in the centre of the rest area. The kids took their seats while Yasu went to the piano instead of playing his guitar. There were some music sheets left on the piano which is the songs for children. He played a few nursery rhymes while kids sing along with him after the piano, he then played his guitar again. Ohno, sensei was singing along and he has a good voice. 

It's been a while since Tatsuya saw Yasu smiled brightly. He hoped this will be a new start for Yasu. While the children were having fun singing with Yasu and Ohno sensei. Tatsuya went for a drink with Taiyo at the cafeteria. 

"You must be wondering what happened this morning right?" Taiyo started their conversation. 

"Yes, if you could tell me. Did he really try to...?" Tatsuya can't finish his words. He can't even imagine it. 

"He did. He wheeled his wheelchair when the traffic light was red for crossing. I managed to pull him back to the pavement before he goes further"

"Oh, God. He really. I'm not a good brother to him, I can't even convince him to keep on living. He always said he was okay and I'm so stupid to believe him" 

"Hmm if you don't mind, what happened to him? Is it also related to why he stopped performing at the restaurant?"

“How do you know he was performing in the restaurant?" 

"I watched him before and he is really good. What happens to him? I did go back to the restaurant to look for him but I was told he left the job there" 

"Why do you look for him?"

"For Daigo, that boy was losing hope when his aunt left him so I thought if he can meet Yasu-chan again it may give him a new encouragement."

Tatsuya was in a bind, he was not sure if he should tell the man in front of him everything since it was Yasu's personal but this man managed to stop Yasu today, maybe he can be the one who will understand Yasu better than him. 

"I can't tell you everything since we just met and Yasu might not like it too but I can say that life was cruel to him. Although he started doing well with his mother, she passed away suddenly in a car accident too a few months ago. It's really shaken him that he can't come out from the pain this time. He believed it was him who should die that night. He felt his life was useless and shut himself in his room. Although he said he was okay from what happened this morning, I think he was just pretending to be okay so he won't burden me further although I've repeatedly told him that he was never once a burden to me"

“You really care about him" Taiyo can see how much Tatsuya love Yasu from his tone and the love in his eyes. 

"As I said earlier, we know each other since we were young but we were separated when he moved. If only I'm able to meet them again earlier, maybe things will be different" 

"Don't blame yourself Ko Sensei, there might be a blessing in disguise behind all the pain" 

Taiyo patted Tatsuya shoulder and there was warmth in it. They just met but Tatsuya felt so comfortable as if they had known each other for a long time. Taiyo smiles gave him assurance that things will be better for them. 

"Taiyo-kun, can you promise me to befriend with Yasu, maybe when he has a friend, he will see life better. Please Taiyo-kun, you are my hope now" 

"Tatsuya-kun, you think too highly of me but I will try"

As if he was granted a new life, Tatsuya smiled brightly and promise he will help Taiyo with whatever he needs to make Yasu get his life back. They found Yasu, Ohno Sensei and the kids were enjoying chocolates when they are back to the kid's rest area. Daigo ran to them with a lot of chocolate in his hand for Tatsuya and Taiyo which Tatsuya accepted it gladly because he loves sweets. 

“Someone was so happy to eat the chocolates, where did you go?" Yasu asked. He saw both Tatsuya and Taiyo left together earlier and felt they were plotting behind his back. Tatsuya replied him with a glass of juice. The chocolate was sent by Daigo's, adopted father who is also Ohno sensei partner. He is a chocolatier and has his own shop. Now they know why Daigo is close to Ohno sensei. 

"But still, Yasu-chan is Daigo's biggest inspiration" 

Taiyo words made Yasu blushed as if he forgot his resolution not to agree with whatever Taiyo asked him this morning. Ohno sensei asked the nurse to bring the kids back to their rooms. 

"Ko sensei, you work with animals, right?" Daigo asked Tatsuya before he went back to his room. 

"Yes! I treated them when they are sick. Do you like them Daigo-kun?" 

"I like them but I think you can help to treat my papa too since Ohno sensei can't treat him" 

"What happens to your papa and if Ohno sensei can't treat him I don't think I can because I only treat animals" 

"Because you treat animals, so you can treat papa too. You know animals hate him a lot. Ohno sensei can't treat him because he only works with humans but you work with animal, so you must know them well and you can treat him with some magic so the animal will love papa and he will buy me a puppy." Daigo said before waving his goodbye leaving the adults speechless with his theory about his papa and animals. Ohno didn't know if he should be proud or crying but he will scold his boyfriend later because he was the one who came up with the stupid reason why animals hated him. He kept lying to Daigo that he was sick with a sickness and Ohno can't cure him because he didn't treat animal.

Both Yasu and Tatsuya left the hospital a while later while Taiyo went back to Daigo's room to accompanying the young boy. Before they left, Ohno sensei had talked to both and asking if Yasu could come and perform for the kids once a month. Seeing the response from the kids today, as the head of the Paediatrics Department, he knows it will be a healthy activity for the kids to enjoy the music but he didn't want to force Yasu and gave him time to think. Tatsuya was happy to hear the offer because it will help to distract Yasu from his sadness but he doesn't want to push him and let him decide on his own.

*****

It's 3 am in the morning but like a movie, the whole incident of the day was playing in his mind. Yasu woke up early that day with the intention to die so he won't be a burden. He had woken up much earlier than his best friend, wrote him a farewell note and left the house. He slowly wheels to his best friend's room to take a last look at him. He always loves to see Tatsuya sleeping face. It was so calm and he looks like an angel. Tatsuya had always been there, smiling brightly for him and stand by his side. He is a brother which Yasu never have. He knows how much Tatsuya loves and care about him but he was too guilty to keep burdening him although Tatsuya had never complained. He had taken too much from him when he can't even give back even just 1% of it. 

Just for his sake, Tatsuya bought his current apartment because it was nearer to the rehabilitation centre and it will be easy for Yasu to travel although it was one hour away from Tatsuya clinic. Yasu knows, it had cost Tatsuya a fortune for that apartment and he yet to count for transport and all extra expenses incurred because of him that's why he decided he should leave so Tatsuya could return back to his normal life without any burden but if he ran away, Tatsuya will find him so the only way was to end his life although he knows his best friend will be sad, times will heal him and one day Tatsuya will be glad that he was gone.

He went to the rehabilitation centre for the last look so he will leave this world with the sweet memories that he created when he was there. That was where he first learns to be independent in his new life with the wheelchair. It was Daisuke who first brought him there and it was because of Daisuke he started to take his rehab seriously although he knows the boy didn't have much time left to live. It just a short time but they became good friends encouraging each other and Daisuke cheerfulness brought him happiness till he left to enjoy his last moments in Nagano where he can see a lot of stars at night. With the encouragement, the counselling with Minami sensei and rehabilitation, he managed to build a new decent life with his mother along with the support from Tatsuya. He started to write music with the new guitar Tatsuya bought for him. Some of the days, he works in Tatsuya clinic at the daytime while at night playing music at the famous restaurant but life really love to play a joke on him. 

One by one the person who made him happy was taken away from him. Few months after Daisuke left, Minami sensei was offered for a job overseas so he left the hospital. Yasu was not sad but was happy for him because he was a good councillor. Life goes on for him with his mother and they live happily in their old house. Every weekend Tatsuya will bring them out for a picnic. His jobs were going well and the restaurant's patrons love his music that it helped the restaurant to have more customers. The boss was kind to increase his pay and the number of working hours so he stops working at Tatsuya clinic. Every time after his rehabilitations he will drop by the nearby park to practice his guitar so he won't disturb his mother who will be sleeping after her night shift duty. Their life seems perfect and nothing can go wrong but it changed a year after when his mother was knocked by a car while on her way to her night duty in front of his eyes. 

He still remembered that night when he accompanied his mother to the intersection where she always crosses to take the bus on the opposite side of the road. It was his routine when he was not performing at the restaurant. Yasu will cross with her and accompanied her till the bus came. That night, his mother stopped him from sending her because it was a bit cold and Yasu was having a runny nose but he insisted and promised he will only send her up to the traffic light. Keeping his promise, he waved happily at her while she was crossing the road when a car suddenly sped up and hit his mother. 

"Kaasan!!!" 

But it was too late, the car sped off living his mother there after it hits her. He wheeled himself near to his mother, the pool of blood started to flow and peoples started to gather. He keeps shouting for help, shouting for his mother to wake up but she only opened her eyes for a while, her hand tried to touch his face, "Yasu!" That's the last word she said and she had never woken up again. As if the world around him had stopped, he didn't even realize who called the ambulance and how they were in the hospital, he was in dazed until Tatsuya came, hugging and patting his back when the tears started to fall nonstop wetting his best friend's shirt. 

His mother left him right in front of his eyes, if only he crossed with her tonight like always, he should be the one who died and it will be better that way, it will be better if he was the one who is dead so both his mother and Tatsuya will be free from him. Tatsuya did everything for the funeral, Yasu lost his interest to continue living. Although Tatsuya always encouraging him, as days passed, he just felt sorry to his best friend for being a big burden that made him took the decision and yet now he was lying on his comfortable bed. His plan was messed up because of that meddlesome guy.

“You may think your life is useless but for Daigo you are his inspirations to fight for his life” Taiyo words replayed in his mind till he felt asleep.


	2. "do you really think I will be happy"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yasu was saved but Tatsuya seems to have given up hope on him, but now Yasu can't bear to leave him alone.

The sun rays shone brightly through the glass windows woke him up and the noise in the kitchen told Yasu that it was time for him to wake up to face his best friend. They need to talk. He knows how much he had hurt his best friend. Tatsuya had left him alone last night but it doesn't mean that he can just smile and acted as if there was nothing happened yesterday. Yasu woke up and went for his shower. Since a long time ago he had been independent and didn't need anyone help for his basic needs. 

"Ah, you are up? Come breakfast is ready" 

Tatsuya said once he saw Yasu but that was the only thing he said throughout their meal which made Yasu more suffocated. Their meal had never been quiet because Tatsuya had always been energetic guy so when he was silent it just made Yasu felt worst. 

"Tatsu, I know you are angry with me so you can scold me or curse me or whatever you want. Your silence is suffocating me and made me more anxious" 

Tatsuya put down his chopstick on the table and stared right into Yasu's eyes. Yasu can see the sadness and disappointment in that deep almond eyes. The energetic Tatsuya was scary right now that made Yasu felt helpless. He didn't dare to continue to look at his best friend and look down on his food. 

"Why are you not looking at me Yasu? Since when you didn't dare to look at me?"

"Tatsu, I know I'm wrong I know I hurt you but please forgive me"

Tatsuya didn't reply, he continued to finish his breakfast and get ready to leave once he was done but he stops at the genkan when he heard Yasu's voice. 

"Tatsu, I'm sorry please talk to me" 

"What is the point of me talking if you are not listening and believing in my words. You are an adult, so I'm not going to say anything anymore. From now on, you can decide whatever you want to do with your life. I won't interfere because I know I have no right to do it but do you really think I will be happy when my brother was no longer by my side?" 

Tatsuya replied without looking at him and left to his clinic. Although his voice was calm, every word was like a knife, stabbing at the right spots of Yasu's heart, made him felt guiltier. Tatsuya had been telling him that he never regards Yasu as a burden and he was happy to be with him, to take care of him as his brother but Yasu disregarded his sincerity and decided to hurt him in the worst way. Yasu tears fell as soon as the door closed. Tatsuya had always put up with him, whether when he was being a spoiled brat, or when he's been snarky or even when he was being childish. Tatsuya always lets him had his way as long Yasu was happy but Yasu had taken it for granted. 

Tatsuya wiped the tears in his eyes as soon as the door closed, his heart ached when he heard Yasu cried and he knows he was being a jerk right now but if this was the way to make Yasu realised his mistake, he will do it. He had promised to himself to do whatever he needs to help Yasu back on his feet again, to let him realised how much Yasu meant to him even if he had to hurt him in the process. Sometimes, some people's need to be hurt to know the pain they caused. Although he was scared if his actions will push Yasu to a corner, he trusted his words were cleared and this psychological method suggested by Satoshi may work on him.

It's been hours since Tatsuya left the house, Yasu was still thinking. He was lost, it was the first time Yasu saw Tatsuya disappointed badly with him like this. When he thought back of the times they spent together, Tatsuya had never left his side. The only time they separated was when Yasu's mother decided to run away from Yasu's abusive father. They lost contact but when Tatsuya manages to find them back after an article about Yasu published in the rehabilitation centre newsletter. Tatsuya coincidentally came to look around the facilities for knowledge after visiting a friend at the hospital. When he saw the article, he tried to ask about Yasu contact details but was denied due to confidentiality. It took a few days for him to be able to meet Minami sensei and he was the one who united them again. Since then, he took care of Yasu and his mother's need. Tatsuya always ensures they have enough food to eat and sometimes will accompany him to rehabilitation. Tatsuya will bring them out on his off day and spent his night played a game with Yasu. Meeting Tatsuya again brought a new light in Yasu's and his mother's life. Yasu's mother loves Tatsuya like his own and even Tatsuya's mother always treat them like a family. 

Tatsuya's words came to his mind, yes Yasu was stupid and he was selfish. How could he think it will be better for Tatsuya if he was gone when they had always been together. How could he be selfishly thought of ending his life which he thought useless when Tatsuya did everything to make sure he had a good life. Yasu's cried again when he realised how self-centred he was, making a decision only about himself without thinking of the one that cares about him the most. He may not have anyone else but he always has Tatsuya by his side and yet he repay all his love and sacrificing by his selfish decisions. Tatsuya's words this morning as if he had given up on Yasu, but now when Tatsuya had given up, Yasu can't bear to leave him alone because Tatsuya is his best friend, his brother and his angel that always sacrifice himself for Yasu. Even if he wanted to die, he should leave without making Tatsuya sad. 

"Are you sure he had given up on you?"

Taiyo asked when they met at the hospital a few days after Yasu's argument with Tatsuya. After few days left alone at home, Yasu finally went out of his house and visited Daigo with his guitar. Taiyo was also there since it was a school holiday. Looking at how gloomy Yasu was, Taiyo can't help but asked him what happened. So Yasu told him about his argument with Tatsuya. Although all his needs and daily meals we're well-taken care as always, Tatsuya still gave him the silent treatment. 

"From what you told me, instead of given up, Ko Sensei was badly hurt and he was trying to keep his distant"

"Why he needs to keep his distance from me? We had always been closed" 

"And yet you try to kill yourself and leave him alone although you know how much he loves and cares about you? So it was not a surprise for him to keep a distance, at least by doing that he won't feel so much pain if you decided to do the same stunt again"

"I won't do it again"

"Then you should prove it to him" 

"How"

"By living your life to the fullest? How to do it you should know it better than anyone else" 

Actually, Taiyo had known what had been going on. The night of the incident, after sending Yasu home and sure that Yasu needs his time alone, Tatsuya drove back to the hospital to meet Ohno sensei and Taiyo. That was when Ohno sensei suggested to a used psychological approach to wake Yasu up. At first, Tatsuya was worried it may drove Yasu back to a corner which may push him to do it again but after looking at how Yasu acted earlier that day, Ohno sensei believed it might be the best way especially seeing how Yasu warmed up to Daigo. Yasu seemed to relate to Daigo and seeing how Daigo look upon him, it may give Yasu a new hope and Ohno sensei believed that for a while Yasu will be on guard of his actions for Daigo sake. So Yasu visit to the hospital today was expected. Taiyo also knows how worried Tatsuya was but he tried his best to be firm for Yasu sake.

"Yasuni, can you play the guitar for me?"

Yasu smile and start to play Daigo's favourite song, Donguri korokoro. After he finished, Daigo asked him to sing another song but there was sadness in his eyes. 

"Mummy used to sing this song for me" 

Both Taiyo and Yasu look at Daigo, both sympathise with him, "zo-san" it was also songs that they love to hear from their mother and life without a mother is lonely. Among the three of them, Yasu can be considered as the luckiest one because both Taiyo and Daigo lost their mother at a young age. 

"Didn't you asked Papa to sing you this song?" 

Taiyo asked but the little boy shook his head. 

"Papa had given me so much love so I don't want him to be sad if he knows I miss my mummy" 

Both Yasu and Taiyo were speechless, despite his young age, Daigo was considerate and he knows how to appreciate the one that loves him. Daigo's words stabbed Yasu's heart because it's reminded him of Tatsuya. He always took him for granted and never once thought about how Tatsuya felt. The gloomy vibe was broken by a cheerful voice of Koyurugi Sota, Daigo adopted father. He actually reached the hospital earlier to visit his love and his son but when both he and Ohno sensei, reached the door, he heard everything that his adoptive son said. Got a knows how much he loves Daigo it won't be the same and he can never replace Daigo's mother's position in his heart. 

"Daigo! It's fine if you want to miss Mummy because she is your Mummy. Papa won't be angry and sad because Papa is papa and mummy is still mummy" 

Daigo smile and hugged his papa. Sota sang the song again but this time he changed the lyrics about them. 

Papa-chan, papa-chan  
Ome ga Ōkī none  
Sō yo, Daigo mo  
Ōkī no yo

Papa-chan, papa-chan  
Dare ga suki na no  
Ano ne, Daigo chan ga  
Suki na no yo

Everyone laughed listening to the new lyrics that Sota changed, especially when they heard the word papa-chan. 

"Papa, I love you" 

"Papa loves Daigo-chan too"

"I'm very sad here because no one loves me" 

Ohno sensei sulking but Daigo who was in his papa's arm quickly put his arm around his Tochan's neck and kissed Ohno sensei cheek. 

"We love Tochan too" Daigo declared happily. 

Seeing the family of three, both Taiyo and Yasu left the ward quietly but Yasu still silent and Taiyo knows what was on his mind. Bit by bit, memories of his childhood came to Yasu's mind. Although he didn't have a good father, he always has a brother. Tatsuya always came running to him whenever he cried after being beaten up by his father. There were times when Tatsuya stand in front of him to protect Yasu from his father. Yasu's father will never lay a finger on Tatsuya because his mother was a famous geisha in the area. Laying a finger on Tatsuya is the same as his father digging his own grave. Tatsuya always defended him when Yasu was bullied by other kids. Yasu had always missed him when they were separated till they met again and his life started to be brighter again because there was no one who truly cares and loves him like Tatsuya. Those brothers he met after Tatsuya never really care about him and only used him to boost their ego that controls their territory and yet he hurt the only one family that he has now. Taiyo hugged him and pat his shoulder to calm him. 

"Not everyone in this world is lucky like us when we thought there was no one who cares about us, there is someone who put us as first before themselves. For me, it's my late teacher and for you, it's Tatsuya who willing to sacrifice everything for his only brother."

"Yasu!"

Yasu turned to the familiar voice. Taiyo had messaged Tatsuya to come to the hospital because his brother needs him. Yasu's tears fell again as soon as he saw Tatsuya who run to him when he saw Yasu cried again. 

"Why are you crying? Are you in pain again?" 

Tatsuya asked panic but Yasu hugged him tightly and continued to cry on his shoulder. 

"Tatsuni, I'm sorry, I won't do it again and I will stick with you even when you are sick of me" 

Tatsuya didn't know if he wants to laugh or cry but heard Yasu calling him Tatsuni warmed his heart. It's been so long since he heard Yasu called him that way. It felt as if they were back to their childhood days where Yasu following him around calling him Tatsuni even in his dream. 

"Okaeri, Yasu-chan, my lovely little brother" 

While the hugging Yasu, Tatsuya mouthed a Thank You to Taiyo and the family of three who came looking for them at the hospital park. It was the first step to bring Yasu back and thanks to Ohno sensei suggestions they managed to passed it nicely. Sota had heard a lot about both Tatsuya & Yasu from his lover and he was glad to finally meet them. His boyfriend is a man of a few words and is bad with strangers so it's rare to hear Ohno sensei talking about others but meeting them he realised why his lover like them. Sota invited them to drop by his chocolaterie so the adults left the hospital after sending Daigo back to his room. Daigo will be discharged in two days but no one knows when he may be sent back to the hospital again but as long as he is able to, Sota wanted to bring him home so they can spend their time together as a family. 

Tatsuya gasped once they reached in front of Sota's chocolate. It was famous and Tatsuya love their chocolates but he never expected the young chocolatier is the man in front of him. Although, he had visited the chocolate a few times they never met since Sota was always at the back making chocolates. The chocolaterie is cosy and such a nice place to hang out with friends. It is located two blocks away from the hospital. Sota and Ohno were also surprised to know Tatsuya is one of their customers and is a friend of one of their VVIP customer. 

"So you know Gozensama?" Sota asked.

"Yes! I am his personal vet for his dogs" 

"I'm glad we finally meet," Sota said but he was interrupted by Yasu. 

"But I'm not glad because I know he will come here more often and buy more chocolate for me to eat" Yasu pouted. 

"You should eat more sweet so you can be a sweet guy, as sweet as me" Tatsuya teased which cause everyone to laugh. 

Knowing that Tatsuya is also a sweet lover, Ohno sensei pulled him to the chocolate counter to show him the new chocolates created by one of the apprentices. The three guys just smiled looking at the two doctors excitement while choosing the chocolates. 

"It seems Toshini finally found someone who has the same passions as him," Taiyo said. 

"Both of you don't like chocolate?" Yasu asked. 

"I eat sweets but not as much as those two" Taiyo replied.

"As much as I make chocolates, Satoshi surely loves them more than me" 

Their eyes are still on the two guys who were still discussing which chocolate to try next. 

"Once Tatsuni saw chocolates, he forgot everything else around him," Yasu said.

"No wonder he gets along well with Gozensama" Sota replied.

Both the doctors came back to their table with varieties of chocolate and as expected Tatsuya keep asking Yasu to eat which made him angry. Yasu like sweets but not as much as Tatsuya. Sota had to excuse himself for a while when he received an urgent call from his client. While waiting for Sota the other talk more about each other as if they had known them for a long time. 

"I really love sweets so I used to be a regular customer when Sota just open this chocolaterie but we never see each other although I came here every day till few months after when I accidentally knocked to him in front of the shop and drop all the chocolates when he was rushing to send it to his customer. That time he didn't have much staff so he had to do all the delivery on his own. Fortunately, they still have extra stock so they still can send the chocolate on time and he asked his staff to throw the other chocolates away although they still wrapped nicely. It's not dirty but some of it broken so I told them I will take responsibility and paid for the chocolates since it was my mistake. But you know that guy has a high ego and his chocolate is his pride so when the staff called him he told them to give it to me for free" 

"Then u started to date him?" Tatsuya was curious because Sota that they saw now looks friendly.

Before Ohno sensei could reply, Sota who had finished his phone call interrupted him,

"Nope, I only know that he is the shy regular customer that my staffs constantly talk about. So I do feel bad because I was at fault for walking without looking. Since he had been coming every day, I waited for him to come the next day but he didn't come so I thought we had lost one of our precious regular customers but he came back after two weeks with bags full of bread. It's happened that he went to medical conferences and he bakes the bread for me to pay for the chocolates and that's how we started to be friends and when we felt that we can get along well, we decided to date after few months" 

"Wow Ohno sensei can bake bread and Sota-kun can make chocolates, both of you are such a great couple. I hope Yasu will find someone like that soon" Tatsuya words gained him a stare from Yasu. 

"You should worry about yourself first before anyone else" Yasu retorted. 

From their story, they found out they had been dating for five years and they had always been supportive of each other even when Sota decided to adopt Daigo, it was Ohno sensei who encourage him and even transfer Sota to his hospital so he can take care of him personally. 

They continue to hang out till it was time for dinner when Tatsuya excused themselves. Taiyo went back with the couple since he currently renting a room in the couple's apartment. Taiyo is a close friend of Ohno just like Yasu and Tatsuya and Sota was the one who recommended Taiyo to work at Himawari Kindergarten when they were looking for a temporary teacher to take over a teacher who was going for maternity leave. Although it was not an easy start for Taiyo because most of the parents were sceptical towards male teacher but he has a strong passion and determination in his works that made Sota's mother decided to offer him a full-time position. Before they left, Yasu told Ohno sensei that he agreed to accept his offer to perform for the kids once a month and everyone we're happy to see him willing to take the first step. His first session will be in two days on a Saturday. 

As soon as they reached home, Tatsuya went to the kitchen to prepare their dinner but Yasu suggested to order take out food since they had been out the whole day and he knows Tatsuya was tired. 

"Tatsuni, I want to work, I want to help you with the expenses"

"Yasu! It's fine with me if you want to work at least you won't be bored sitting alone at home but if you are worried about the expenses, I'm still fine and can afford to support expenses. You don't have to rush and take one step at a time." 

Yasu nodded his head but he was determined to build his life again. He went to his room and started to look for jobs vacancy for disable person like him. Although it was not easy, he knows he will find something suitable for him. Tatsuya looks at him from the doorway. 

"You can look for a job later, but now maybe you should think about what you want to do for your first performance at the hospital. Maybe you can discuss with Ohno sensei for some ideas to make the kids happy later but for now, go to sleep, you must be tired" Yasu agreed and Tatsuya help him to his bed. 

"Good night Tatsuni"

"Good night Yasu" 

As if a big burden lifted up of his shoulders, Tatsuya finally had a good sleep that night after months since Yasu mother passed away. 

***

He was fine when he first played randomly for Daigo but today since it was his official job, it made Yasu nervous. It's been a while since the last time he performs in public. The hospital management agreed to offer him a 6 months contract for him to perform once a month in the special hall. Although at first, the management was sceptical about Yasu since he is not a professional, Ohno sensei managed to convince them by using "We" campaign as the main point why he wants Yasu instead of a professional performer. "We" is the campaign organized by the Rehabilitation Centre, to give the disable patients a chance to work normally like others without any discrimination. Since Yasu is also one of the patients in the Rehabilitation Centre, he was considered the perfect candidate to promote the campaign. Although their main intention is to entertain the patients of paediatric wards, since the special hall located in between the annexe, some other patients are allowed to watch it too. Yasu was given a 30 minutes session to perform. Ohno sensei also gave him full freedom to perform as long it was suitable for children. His session will start at 5 pm.

Since it was a weekend apart from the paediatric wards, a lot of visitors came to watch too. Sota and Taiyo also came.   
Both Tatsuya and Yasu came in clown costumes. Tatsuya will be his assistant.   
The show starts with Tatsuya introducing themselves before Yasu took over to lead the performance. He started by explaining why he needs to use the wheelchair in a joking way so it will be easy for the kids to understand followed by him performing some magic trick and playing the piano while Tatsuya dance funnily to it. Both of them really get along well and synchronise their actions perfectly. The hall was filled with laughter that 30 minutes felt to shorts. Some of the management personnel who came to watch were happy with their performance so their first performance ended perfectly. Although it was tiring both Tatsuya and Yasu were satisfied when they saw the kids smiled, laughed and sang along with them. It's been a while since both of them feel this excitement and satisfaction. 

Taiyo ran to them as soon as they finished changing back to their casual clothes to congratulate them. Taiyo was more excited than Daigo who laughed at his teacher acting like a small child. To celebrate the success of their first performance, Tatsuya invited everyone to his house and ordered a lot of good quality sushi for everyone. He was happy and seeing how much Yasu was laughing and smiling made him happier because it's been so long since the last time he saw Yasu smiling and laughing truly from his heart. The three-bedroom house is big for two people but they can feel the warmth. They can also see how much Tatsuya care for Yasu when the house was renovated to cater to him including with all the railing on the wall and most item we're lower down so it will be easier for Yasu to use. Apart from Sota, Taiyo and Ohno sensei, there were two more guys joining them. One of them is Taiyo cousin, Mimura Takuya and the other one is Mimura boyfriend, Yamada Taro. Both were in the final year of their university. Taiyo had invited them to watch the performance because he describes the two boys were boring guys so wanted them to have some fun. 

Mimura is Taiyo maternal cousin and the only son of his late aunt. Although Mimura grandfather had helped him paid for his studies, Taiyo didn't feel good to keep troubling him although the old man always loves him like his own since both Mimura and Taiyo lost their parents when they were young too. Mimura used to be a snobbish rich boy and apart from Taiyo he doesn't mix with other kids and only focuses on his study and flower arranging till he met his boyfriend Yamada. Yamada came from a poor family and has a lot of siblings so he had been working hard to support his family. One is snobbish while one is hardworking and although they were totally opposite of each other, they made a good couple. Yamada also changed his cousin perspective about life and became more approachable but they are still boring for Taiyo because they only focus on study and work. 

"I'm really happy to watch the show"

"Yes, it been so long since I last laughed this much" Mimura said agreeing with his boyfriend. He was happier to see Yamada laughed because Yamada had been so busy juggling between his study and part-time job although he didn't work as much as before. 

"Can we come and watch it again next month?" Yamada asked. 

"Sure! Everyone is welcome as long they don't cause disturbance" Ohno replied. 

"Have you plan for the next performance? Are you going to use the same clown concept" Taiyo was curious? 

"Actually, that's what I'm thinking of too because the main audience is children but if I continue, I may have a problem because Tatsuni may not be able to help me every time" 

As much as Tatsuya tried to make time for him, he is still a doctor who treats his patients although they are not human. There may be times when he needs to perform emergency surgery for the animals so Yasu knows he can't always depend on Tatsuya and to find another partner won't be easy. 

"Why don't Taiyo help you? Since he works with kids, maybe he can help you to find more ideas to entertain them" 

Taiyo choked on his food when he heard Ohno's suggestion. Why was he suddenly pulled to the mix? Tatsuya looked at Ohno knowingly before supporting his suggestion. 

"That's such a good idea Ohno sensei. I will be at peace if Taiyo helps him."

Yasu was uncomfortable with the suggestion too especially how Tatsuya was easily trusted Taiyo. Although Yasu started to feel comfortable around them they just know each other for less than two weeks. Tatsuya is a kind guy who always trusts others easily but he was not the same. 

"Err.. "

"I don't think it was a good idea to take advantage of Taiyo when we just know each other" Yasu quickly retorted. 

"Well, why don't we make the next session as a trial. It will be one month from now so I think by that time you both should know each other well" 

Everyone agreed with Tatsuya words so both Yasu & Taiyo had no chance to reject it since the majority wins, hence it was confirmed that Taiyo will be his new assistant although they said it will be a trial but Yasu had the feeling it will be permanent. Tatsuya was confronted by sullen Yasu once he closed the door after everyone left.

"Tatsuni! When are you going to change your attitude of easily trusting others?"

Tatsuya knows Yasu was referring to about Taiyo.

"Don't tell me you are still suspicious of Taiyo, the person who saves your life?" Tatsuya replied with a question.

"It's no harm to be more careful" Yasu retorted.

"You are trying to be more careful or are you trying to prevent yourself from being close to him?" 

Yasu wanted to answer but the words stuck in his throat. Tatsuya knows him too well so whatever excuse he gave will be futile. Yasu pouted and wheeled himself back to his room, leaving Tatsuya smiling to himself. Taiyo is a cheerful guy and someone who is comfortable to be with. He knows even Yasu felt the same but Yasu had always scared to open his heart to be close to anyone especially with whatever happened in his life. 

Yasu had always believed, those who were close to him will just be stuck with bad luck and will leave him after they are tired of him. Since he was a kid, he always blames himself for being born because he believes he was the cause of his mother's suffering from domestic violence. His mother ran away because she didn't want Yasu to continue living in suffering but for Yasu, it was because of him his mother had a hard life and now because of him, his mother died. Even now, although he may not be thinking about ending his life, he still thinks that he caused Tatsuya to have such a hard life and stopping him from finding his own happiness. Apart from wanting to see Yasu back on his feet, Tatsuya also hopes there will be a day when Yasu realised how precious he is and stop blaming himself for all the unfortunate's happened in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this late update and I wanted to finish this in two chapters but its seems got longer after I'm slowly recovering from my mind block. Hope you enjoy this chapter too. 
> 
> As always, comments are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if it didn't meet your expectation but I hope you enjoyed it too.  
> Comment much appreciated.


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